Relationships can be really confusing. Especially if you really like someone but they do things that you’re just not sure about.
Relationships can sometimes change and it can be hard to spot when things are going wrong.
It’s difficult sometimes to spot the signs of an unhealthy relationship. Sometimes you might think that it’s just banter, but being in an unhealthy relationship can really impact on your mental and physical health.
You have the right to be respected and not do anything that you don’t want to do. Feeling unsafe, unsure or sick could be a sign that you’re not comfortable.
It’s not your fault if this happens to you
People who exploit relationships are very clever in the way they do it.
They often make you feel that it’s your fault, or what they are asking you to do is a normal part of a relationship, when it isn’t.
Listen to yourself. If it feels wrong, it usually is.
There are lots of people that can help you. Tell someone you trust.
Spotting the signs of an unhealthy relationship
• They’re really intense - They’ve got really extreme feelings or really intense behaviour that you might find suffocating. Do they always want to see you and don’t want you to see your friends? Do you think they’re a bit over the top? You should have your own space.
• They’re jealous – We all get a bit a jealous, but the problem is when they try and control you because of it. Are they getting upset when you get a text? Do they look through your phone? Are they really suspicious?
• They’re manipulating you – It’s not always easy to spot, but do they ignore you until they get what they want? Do they try and get in your good books with gifts, and are always apologising?
• They’re isolating you– Do they get annoyed if you don’t spend all your time with them and want to spend time with your friends? Do they make you question your family and friends. Are you becoming reliant on their money, or even their attention?
• Making you feel bad, but then saying it’s a joke – It’s not on if they make rude comments about you or your family, including what you look like. Even if they say it’s a joke it’s not funny.
• Threatening to make you look bad – They could start rumour, or threat to share private information about you, or even stop you getting things done, like school work.
• Making you feel guilty – Making you feel like everything’s your fault, and their happiness relies on you. They could threaten to hurt themselves if you don’t stay with them. Do they guilt you into having sex?
• They fly off the handle – Are you walking on eggshells because they might go off on one. Does it make you feel frightened?
• Acting differently around people - Do they act differently with other people than when they’re with you?
• They don’t accept the blame for their behaviour - They blame you, or blame something else, like mental health problems or what’s happened to them before. It makes you feel guilty.